Sacred Sexuality and Embodiment
What does it mean to live as a fully embodied being? How do we connect with the erotic in a way that is meaningful, healing and enlivening?
Erotic energy is life force energy. It is our libido, passion, desire and creativity. It penetrates every aspect of our lives, from how we move and connect, to how we feel and express.
When we live in a culture that fosters intellectualization and productivity, it becomes easy to lose touch with pleasure and connection.
We armour ourselves physically and emotionally to numb out the pain of past experiences. We clamp down on our pleasure capacity out of fear that we are undeserving or wrong in our desires.
Sacred sexuality invites us to experience our bodies as part of the interconnected web of life where every molecule is alive with eros. It is an invitation to re-experience erotic energy through a lens of innocence. It is an opportunity to feel our inherent radiance from the inside out.
Experiential Learning
Talking about our sexual challenges can be a helpful way of understanding things intellectually, but it rarely leads to the kind of changes we wish to see.
When we take the time to feel through our difficult emotions and all the stuck places in our bodies, we come to a place of opening. It is here that the tools of breath, movement, sound and touch can bring us to a radical re-experiencing of what it means to be erotically alive.
Embodiment lineages such as somatic sex education, sexological bodywork and tantra provide rich methods for engaging the nervous system, deepening body awareness, and cultivating sensuality. Through ongoing practice and intention, we find freedom from sexual shame, reclamation of desire and expansion of erotic capacity.
Who Benefits?
All humans experience questions and hurdles on the journey to erotic wellness. Often trauma can create added layers of challenge. Whether you are striving to find erotic wholeness within yourself, or bring new confidence and inspiration to your connection with others, embodied coaching can assist in numerous ways.
Common reasons to seek coaching and bodywork:
difficulty achieving arousal / orgasm
vaginismus / pelvic pain
erectile dysfunction
premature ejaculation
sexual shame and anxiety
sexual trauma
learning new self-pleasure skills / mindful masturbation
porn addiction / compulsive masturbation
learning about boundaries + embodied consent
exploring the intersections of sexuality and spirituality
practicing mindful receiving
healing scar tissue
expanding sexual repertoire
exploring sexual archetypes and sacred power exchange
How Sessions Work
We meet bi-weekly, either in person or virtually, for 90 minute sessions. For clients who don’t live locally and need to make a longer drive, I offer monthly 3h sessions as an alternative.
Activities in session can range between talking (coaching) to experiential work that utilizes the tools of breath, movement, sound, and touch. Clients are empowered with choice at all times and are in full control over which activities are explored, and how far they wish to go.
Sessions generally begin with a check-in, intention setting, and proceed to some experiential exercises that are relevant to the client’s intentions. We wind down about 15-minutes prior to the end of the session to leave time for grounding, debriefing, and questions.
As a Somatic Sex Educator and Sexological Bodyworker, I am trained in full body touch, including genital and anal touch. All touch is one way, from practitioner to client, and gloves are always worn for genital touch. Clients may request touch in the context of certain practices. All touch is guided by the client, and we hold space for all the complex emotions and physical responses that may arise in the process of doing this work (please see Bodywork Etiquette to learn more).
In Person Sessions
In person sessions provide a unique learning environment where clients can hone new skills through experiential learning. Using the tools of BREATH, SOUND, MOVEMENT and TOUCH, clients learn to embody themselves in new ways in alignment with their intentions.
Unique to this work, clients have the option of being nude during sessions and activating themselves through self touch, or requesting touch from the practitioner. The client’s erotic energy is welcomed and engaged with in a safe container of one-way touch. Ongoing consent and communication are part of each experience.
Pleasure Mapping
The entire body is one big erotic organ. Too often sexuality becomes focused on the genitals while the rest of our body remains ignored. Perhaps our partners have never taken the time to fully explore our bodies. Perhaps we haven't taken that time ourselves. When we don't know how to awaken our entire body, sex can become one-dimensional. When we don't know what to ask for, we may endure rather than enjoy.
Pleasure mapping is an opportunity to discover the entire body and explore all shades and textures of sensual experience. Does the body respond to a featherlight tease or a firm and grounded touch? Does it open up to steadiness or delight in surprise? Which parts of our body hold delicious pleasure and which parts hold complicated histories, difficult emotions or numbness?
In a container of safety, clients are invited to explore the stories held in their bodies, attune to their pleasures, be present with their fears, and begin making a practice of full body awareness.
Mindful Masturbation Coaching
Very few of us grew up in environments where self-pleasure was seen as good, natural and healthy. Instead, many of us were scolded and retreated into shame and secrecy. Many people began their practice with the priorities of being quick and quiet, and perhaps with the use of aids that later became crutches.
Oftentimes our habits persist and we tend to default to what is familiar, even when we have more choices. Mindful masturbation invites us to enter into our pleasure with consciousness and intention. We are encouraged to remain aware of our breath and body, to incorporate sound and movement, and to explore new terrain to expand on our pleasure capacity. By consciously focusing on pleasure repeatedly, we train our bodies to be more receptive over time to the multitude of experiences that are possible.
Sacred Yoni / Lingam Massage
Receiving conscious and caring genital touch without expectation can be a profoundly healing experience for many. It is rare for most people to be able to drop into a state of deep relaxation and focus solely on receiving, without anxieties around "performance" or giving back.
Receiving genital massage can be an act of reclamation, taking ownership of our desire and learning to honour ourselves through prioritizing pleasure.
The brain chemicals released during an erotic massage promote connection, relaxation and can invite us into blissful altered states. The erotic holds potential to be a doorway to the spiritual, when practiced with presence, intention and integrity.
De-armouring + Emotional Release Work
Armouring is a natural response to the challenges of life. Especially in our earlier years, when we encounter situations that feel overwhelmingly painful or unbearable, we develop strategies to feel less of that pain. This may include chronic physical tension in the muscles and fascia, suppressed emotions, or rigid and compulsive thinking patterns. Armouring is any ingrained, unhelpful way of being that gets in the way of experiencing life with freshness and flexibility.
In sexual de-armouring work, we look at where we are stuck in our erotic expression and consciously begin opening those blockages. This may include the use of pressure points on the body and genitals, breathwork techniques, and embodied emotional release. We create a safe and sacred space in session where all forms of expression are welcome, from screaming and pillow pounding to deep inner stillness and soft tears. By moving through the experience with compassion and awareness, we can help bring completion to any stuck energy.
Karsai Nei Tsang (Genital Detox Massage)
Karsai Nei Tsang (genital detox massage) is a Taoist bodywork modality designed to revitalize genital tissue on a physical, emotional and energetic level.
Karsai massage is always done in conjunction with Chi Nei Tsang (abdominal detox massage) to promote the even flow of chi in the entire internal organ system.
The Taoists view each organ as storing a specific emotional energy, each of which must be in balance with the rest for optimal mental, emotional and physical health. Chi Nei Tsang massage addresses the balance of energies in the abdominal organs, and creates a balanced flow of chi in our tan tien, our main energy centre in the belly.
Karsai Nei Tsang massage follows, to create emotional and energetic balance in the genitals, bring fresh blood flow and clear stagnant lymph.
Online Sessions
Online sessions provide all the possibilities of in-person sessions, aside from touch. Instead, clients are guided through self-touch experiences along with other embodiment practices to further align them with their goals.
Online Coaching and Counselling:
sexual shame
sexual anxiety
sexual trauma
nervous system regulation
mindful masturbation/self-pleasure techniques
how to be a better lover
Online Guided Practices:
mindful masturbation
self de-armouring
genital mapping
genital massage
breathwork for
emotional release
amplifying pleasure + orgasmic ability
ejaculatory mastery
Online Witnessing
mindful masturbation practice
working through body shame
Couples Coaching
Couples sessions provide a unique, interactive learning environment consisting of facilitated activities that help couples improve their presence, attunement, intimacy and touch skills.
Sessions can take place in person, ranging from coaching to clothing optional exercises where couples are welcome engage in mutual touch. Virtual sessions are also available for couples who wish to practice in the privacy of their own bedroom, with their camera on or off.
Couples Coaching can provide guided learning in
overcoming sexual differences
improving sexual communication skills
improving touch skills
learning to give each other Tantric massage or sacred spot massage
expanding on sexual repertoire (ex. introduction to power exchange and BDSM practices)
Learn the art of Tantric Massage
Tantric massage can be a beautiful way to share pleasure and cultivate deeper intimacy in your relationship. Learning to provide this type of massage for each other will build sensitivity, attunement, and refine your touch skills while practicing open hearting giving and receiving.
Each session is devoted to one person giving and one person receiving. The giver is guided through:
how to ground and cultivate presence in your own body
how to attune to the receiver’s body
how to engage in various styles and levels of touch
how to effectively communicate with your receiver
techniques for full body massage
techniques for chest/breast/nipple massage
yoni or lingam massage
sacred spot massage (g-spot or prostate)
anal massage (optional)
breathwork and sexual sublimation techniques
Testimonials
“Monica is a gifted healer. Within the session there were moments when waves of emotion arose in me and she compassionately welcomed my outflow of words, wonder and tears. I felt safe in her presence and precious beneath her touch.”
- Geoff G.
